I was typing on Facebook today, letting folks know that I got my blood tests back and they were not as great as I had hoped. My Rheumatoid levels are high, and while I am not actively in remission, I am currently not ill either. It is this in-between phase that bugs me. It is discouraging to know that the potential for illness hangs over my head, ready to drop at will. While in the process of writing, I had started wondering to myself if I was looking at this the wrong way. Instead of spending my time concerning the potentials, perhaps I could think of all my positives.
verb \dis-ˈkər-ij, -ˈkə-rij\
: to deprive of courage or confidence :dishearten <was discouraged by repeated failure>
Using that as my starting point, I found several quotes that really helped to lift my spirits up. The more I read about other people going through much of the same as I have, the more I realized that we all live with some sort of “sword over our head”. and reaching out to let someone help you is the answer to the problems involved.
Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacle s, discouragement s, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. Thomas Carlyle
I will be working hard this week to become positive and strong in my outlook. I thank Prhayz, (Noel), dear friends, crowing crone, and all of you who are helping me learn both about myself and the people around me. See you soon!
There is little that can be said or done at this time. I am trying only to open my heart and blog to those impacted, however peripherally, by the massacre in Aurora Colorado. I truly feel heartbroken for the victims and their families, and offer my hand in friendship.
While they work out all that must be done, it cannot be ignored that many children will have been struck hard by the making of a movie they really wanted into something they can hardly bear thinking about. It will take all of our calm thoughts to make sure we tell our children not to let the actions of a madman impact their feelings and their joy in movies. This is a hard thing to do, but in all fairness, the madman must be named.
In older times, when a person broke societal rules so egregiously, he or she was shunned. Never to be looked at, spoken to, spoken of again. While sometimes I think that is a little harsh, in this case, I feel it is totally appropriate. If we take the instant celebrity out of these people, there will be less attraction to this sort of action, don’t you think?
Well, with nothing of any importance to say, simply I am sorry and please let me know if I can help.
Aha! I finally got here before the week ended. That was a challenge in and of itself, as I have been doing recruitment for my favorite political body and all. Anyway, I am writing today and I feel like waving my arms about and shouting “yes, yes, I did it and it was good, yes!” (laughing right now) I stepped off the cliff of letting a person I have been enjoying a budding friendship with and told her I enjoyed her company and let’s do lunch. She agreed and we are on our way to a “real” friendship, separate from that “acquaintance” place that I keep most people at.
It really sounds rather silly at first. Most of you know, however, that this No Comfort Zone challenge has been taken up by those of us who look forward to learning how to share our thoughts and lives without the abject fear of rejection hanging over our every edited word. So, when the opportunity to take a deep breath and plunge in showed itself, I had to do it. The fact that it worked out ok is actually an extra bonus.
My fear begins from my past. I had a really unimaginable childhood, one that no one like to speak of, much less think of. Still, once I was away, I got a great education courtesy of the military and all. It wasn’t until I lost my son when he was 12 1/2 that I became a lonely miserable soul. I shunned all friends and family, past and present. It took me years to recover.
(Ack! It has also taken me a few days to get back to this. Sorry!)
So, now that I am ready to reach out and learn more about others, and let people know that I am healing and ready to have joyous days, it is taking a lot more courage than I anticipated.
I will finish this short note, and include more in part 4.
Well, here is the two-week mark and I am finally following up. This No Comfort Zone makes it hard sometimes to stick to my guns, but I am determined if nothing else. My weeks have been eventful, and I am reaching a place where I can see that struggling to stop the fear is going to be of benefit in the long run.
I am a political person, I love all things politics. Some of you have been to my soapbox blog, and you know that I tend to believe that people are good and just need help in being better. There are mean and ugly people out there, don’t get me wrong, and I get upset by them. So let it be said that while I do believe that how a person acts in his personal life is information to be considered in public office, I really don’t like either side of the coverage on the Gingrich marriage controversy. Both sides are using that mess inappropriately, and I hope we can get a much more substantive debate soon.
Still, what it has done is make me speak out to my circle about the idea of respecting the person that really regrets their bad mistakes. I have made them, and regret them, and I know others in the same spot. My laundry would ensure a victory for my opponent in no uncertain terms. The interesting thing was, once I confessed a couple of concerns to my friends, I learned more about them as well. I also learned more about what they “got” from my friendship and the value they placed on it. It was a warm and exciting moment in my growth.
Thank you for the No Comfort Zone Challenge, as I have experienced a growing pain, and a heal. This is great! I cannot wait for the next portion!
I am laughing at myself, because between the Challenge 365 and the No Comfort Zone Challenge, you would think I spend hours a day constructing and writing in my blogs. Obviously that isn’t true at all. Instead, I am finding myself putting off the ideas, thoughts and pictures in favor of doing what? Nothing special. Just putting it off. If they gave out awards for procrastination, I would be a super-star. But alas, that will not happen any time soon.
The picture I am sharing today is my grandson in one of his playful moments.
I heard him in the kitchen, when he jumped out of the cabinet at me with the biggest grin ever. He likes to make me laugh, so it was easy enough to con him into repeating it for the camera. What I realized was…..I was over thinking this way too much. Instead of blogging about my life and the changes and wonders in it, I was trying to find meaning in meaningless places. I forgot to enjoy the moment. So..lesson well learned this week.
I am planning on enjoying my days, hoping pictures will find me, and that I have the smarts to grab the moments I have been given. Thanks for the challenge, it is already bringing clarity to my day!